Yes, I mean that. Not because I’m perfect and have no more room for personal growth and expansion. Not at all. But because New Year’s resolutions stink! Resolutions derive from negativity and when we land after not achieving those resolutions, we land HARD. It’s so much worse afterwards.
OK, I wonder if you don’t believe me so tell me this. Have you ever set a New Year’s resolution that was not based 0n negative self-talk, blame, shame and upset over how you chose to live your life the past year? Exactly. (If you have, I’d I’d love to hear from you.) Here are some top resolutions and their negative foundation:
- I’m not skinny enough. I should lose weight. I’ll buy a scale.
- My figure isn’t what it used to be. I should exercise more. I’ll check out a gym membership.
- I have too much stuff. I should quit spending so much money. I’ll never charge anything again.
- My muscles are weak. I should go to the gym more. I’ll check out a gym membership (ditto).
- I am not flexible. I should do yoga. I’ll check out yoga studio classes.
- I have no culture. I should go to museums. I’ll Google what that costs.
- I’m stressed. I should volunteer more. I’ll Google that, too.
- My cholesterol is too high. I should quit eating fat. After I eat the rest of the butter…….I’ll buy Olivio.
- My blood pressure is out of control. I should stop eating salt. I’ll buy some Mrs. Dash.
- I should be nicer to people. I should take a course at Kripalu. I’ll look them up online.
- I don’t have enough patience, compassion, tenderness, humor, whatever it is …
When we set resolutions, it’s to ‘fix’ a part of us that is broken or in disrepair or weak or flawed, or so we think.
What would happen if …. wait for it …. if …. we first investigate ourselves from the inside out. We commit to diving in deep, really deep, to see what is good, bright, accessible, clear, pure, and beautiful about us. To see our truth. Then build up those qualities. Build ourselves up from a place that is positive and feels good. To then gain even more clarity, compassion, creativity. Uh-huh, more of that, please.
It’s like eating according to the Plate Method. It’s not about what to take off your plate but what you put on it that begins to change your eating behavior. For instance, instead of saying, “I’ll never eat steak or mashed potatoes again,” in your effort to lose weight (resolution #1) or reduce cholesterol, you say, “I’ll add more carrots, broccoli, dark green leafy salad tossed in salad dressing I made with real olive oil and vinegar.” You might find you get full quicker with these high fiber, high water foods, eaten first, and not have as much room for the protein and starch. You may notice an increase in your energy level and your glowy, showy sparkly side is shinier. You silently begin to see a shift in food choice by taking a positive approach of more please from foods that serve you in a more life-enhancing way. Fruit with yogurt, veggies with the lunch sandwich, add more veggies in the soup, switch to whole grains instead of large portions of starchy foods, and so on.
You get out what you put in. You attract what you send out. It’s pretty simple that way but because we’ve been engrained in punitive feelings toward ourselves, change seems hard. Yet, we commit to failure every January. Start 2016 with negative self-thought even guised in a hopeful resolution and you’ll attract more negative self-thought. After you give up.
Don’t even think to start that way! Begin with self-love, self-compassion, self-adoration. I’m strong and want to feel even stronger. My labs are not too out of range now and I want to be even healthier. I’m a good person and want to share even more of that side of me with the world. There’s so much beauty within me, I want to share it with all. So I’ll:
- sleep longer
- eat more whole foods and less processed stuff
- move my body more in ways that bring me pleasure
- drink less alcohol and more herbal tea
- find ways to be creative like painting, singing, doing yoga, jogging, fill in the blank
- instill any practice that lets me feel more alive and vital, like meditation, skating, hula hooping
- take 10 minutes several times a day to breathe, feel my body, check my heart, and give thanks.
Onward. See you soon. Update me with your progress. Send me a selfie, please.