New Year’s Resolutions – bah, Humbug! Out with it, damn resolution. Resolve (according to Merriam-Webster) means:
To find an answer to.
To make clear or understandable.
To reach a firm decision about.
Synonyms to resolve: choose, conclude, determine, decide, settle (on or upon). Before we can resolve, we have to intend.
More often that not, however, resolutions at this greatest point in time for change mean we are unhappy with something. The shape or size of our body, lack-luster relationships, powerless and unfulfilling job, shameful habits, lack of motivation, not enough oomph, and the absence of balance. We live by should of’s. And that means typically, we set goals that are not SMART (specific, measurable, attainable/achievable, realistic and timely). Like:
- I’ll lose so I weigh what I did in college
- I’ll exercise every day
- I’ll meditate every day
- I’ll stop smoking (or drinking sixers or smoking mary jane) cold turkey
- I’ll do yoga every day
- I’ll only have a salad and grilled chicken every day at lunch – no hamburger or French fries
- I’ll never eat pastries, candy, chocolate, sinful food again
- I’ll follow Atkins, the Zone, Dukan diet, South Beach diet by the book
Then, within a week, sometimes less, we’re right back where we started.
Instead, I dare you to take stock of your life this week. What are your unique gifts and talents? Are you utilizing them for your greatest good? Are your relationships (intimate, business, friends) based on integrity and truth and followed through with love and care? Are you living your life with the intention to serve? What’s your passion? What excites you? What are your deepest dreams and aspirations? Are you living them?
If you feel held back, limited, contracted, why? What’s your story line? Are you addicted to your drama? My teacher, John, says ‘pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.’ Yes, we’ll have dark moments (or days) in our lives but if we continue to fall back into the safety net of our story (I couldn’t possibly do that, have him/her, weigh this…..because………whatever), we’ll never see the light. So STOP. Stop holding the fear. Stop telling your story again and again – it just drives you deeper into the darkest corners. Fear keeps us locked into bad behaviors and old patterns.
Write down your life story character by character, word by word, chapter by chapter, until you realize it is history, gone, over. And that you are NOT your life story and you are not defined by your past. You have choice, power of will, to create the circumstances that blend into the life you want.
Set the intention, not the resolution, to enter 2012 with a new lease on life. Identify where you want to put your energy then do it!
Happy New Year to All!